Love in the time of influenza

It all started so well. Little Dark One arrives with the Cat in the Bag, then everyone gets stuffed into the car.

"Wales, Mossie. Powys. Home"

We let the Cat out of the Bag groan and we look settled to be in. There. Excellent.

It's very cold but we have a good excuse to cuddle up. Then we drive to the place where we collect the Tall One. This is so good. The Lady who is also Family comes for food. Can this be any better?

When they come back from the house with dead people in the garden, MBNAD woman is really cold and there's nothing I can do to warm her up. I said no good would come from going in houses with dead people in the garden but they wouldn't listen. Way before bedtime she mumbles,

"Night night Mossie, Night night Bella, Night night Humbug".

Next day she takes me for my morning walk and then goes back to bed. But it's not night night time. The Litter look after her as best they can. I spend my time looking at her over the edge of the bed. The Cat meanders in to check if she's still breathing.


"Night night Mossie, Night night Bella, Night night Humbug".

Off to visit Bolshie Brucie's family. Bolshie's children are nice and I especially like his woman. She makes a fuss of me. Bolshie has his own Jacob, but it's called Sheepie. I had a sheepie, announces the Princess. But it wasn't brown. It was Princess coloured. Of course, it was. She washed it after I didn't need it any more and she's put it in a box under the roof. Anyway, I snuck onto Bolshie's Sheepie and made like I was asleep. Bolshie lay alongside and looked worried.

Then we took the Tall One to get the car on rails and we went back to the Cat. She accused me of losing him.

MBNAD woman is still sleeping too much.

"Night night Mossie, Night night Bella, Night night Humbug".

The Little Dark one has been trying to persuade me that the sick that they serve up at breakfast is really nice. It's not sick, insists the voice. It's nice.


She puts a bowl down for me to have another go. Nice sick is as good as I think it's likely to be.






Then we took the Little Dark one to the car on rails. Now it's just me and the Cat to look after her. And me, says HRH, crossly.


"Night night Mossie, Night night Bella, Night night Humbug".

Grand Slam

I have had to have a word with her. Getting tarted up and going out for the evening is not on when I am here for her. Smells and face-paint and legs. She should know that evenings she should be wearing dog-walkers. Then I can lean my head against her leg and occasionally rub my nose.

However, I did have a reason to forgive her at the end of the week. Another weekend of Here except she bundled me into the car and drove to the place where the Little Dark one lives. When we got there, the Little Dark one had lots of boxes and bags. Boxes with books, bags with clothes. Everything piled up in the car and even around me. Suddenly, I’m expected to be a small dog and curl up. Then everything loaded and we were off again. With the Little Dark one, not just her stuff. Great we’ve kidnapped her. We took her to the house of the Man with the Cat and left her with her stuff.

MBNAD woman had to watch the small men in the little box again. Men in red playing fetch with men in blue. “Oh Mossie, 29-12. Woo hoo! Grand Slam” There she was bouncing around all over the place. Definitely MAD. But my MAD.

Food with Man with the Cat and the Little Dark one. I had to sit outside their eating room. “Stay, Mossie”. Humph.

On Sunday, she got the wall-string-box-brush out and did some cleaning up. I’m really brave with that now. She gets me to stand next to her and tells me that she would never chase me with it and I believe her, I really do. She never chased me announces the Princess. I did stick my nose into the dirt-sucking end and that was a bit strange. A bit like a dry stinky kiss. I didn’t kiss it back.

Then she got the stick-mop for washing the floor and I legged it. She gets me to stand next to her and tells me that she would never chase me with it and I believe her. But it still scares me. Wuss, wuss, wussity wuss, says HRH. You can play with those things. You chase it and it chases you. ‘S’easy. That’s all very well for her to say but she even played with the Water at the Edge of the World. Well, I’m not risking getting that walloped across my rear.

“Night, night Mossie. Night night Bella”

A sad day for her. The year has gone halfway round since the Princess stopped being old. A sort of half birthday. She’s done a grand job of showing me how things work in MBNAD woman’s house and how Here and There work. Even if I am still scared of some of the things like stick-brushes and stick-mops.

The time is coming when I will need to be young again says the beautiful Old White Dog.

I hope I'm not one of these again, she mutters.



I've learnt a lot about witches since I came to live with MBNAD woman but I think that it's beyond even her witching capabilities to make that kind of change. It's called metamorphosis, says the Princess. I don't care what kind of metal working it is, it isn't going to happen to me.

I won’t leave you yet, Colliwobble,. But I will need to be young again soon.



“Night, night Mossie. Night night Bella”

Triple Crown

Here. We watched the little men in the box running around playing fetch again. It’s always the men in red but this time they were playing fetch with the men in green. I curled up on my rug and kept quiet about my background. Thank heavens the men in red got to catch the ball a lot more than the green ones, otherwise, I think that she might have been a bit grumpy.

She had a visitor who owned up to being a bit Irish too so we sat together until it was safe.

“12-16, Mossie, woo hoo 12-16”. Phew.



Now that my vocabulary is coming along, I think that it may be good idea if I start to make some Welsh noises. When I listen carefully it’s not really Cat language but she can mix it up with a bit of Cat, especially when she’s driving.


My hen wlad fy’nhadau, oufff, oufff, I murmur softly. Yes, definitely think I can get the hang of it.


Of course, I could speak lots of languages, announces the Princess, including, Bovine, that’s cow to you, Colliewobble. We royalty are expected to be able to say a few words to the common people wherever we go. Oh, really? Oh yes, she says, and I taught them a few words too, especially, the Little Dark one. She can say “Moo. Moo” wonderfully well. Quite talented in the language department. In fact, she can actually say a few words of Ovine. You should ask her to say something, although she may not get the accent quite right for you. You could practise herding her, you must miss that sort of thing, being a working dog.

Do I miss it? Let’s think. Cold days, running around after daft sheep and then evenings with snippy young collies who might bite my nose or heels. Or, a lovely warm bed in the kitchen, walks with my Divine Blonde and two walks every day with the MBNAD woman that are always followed by food. And hugs. And games of fetch. And hugs. And the Litter. And hugs.

So Princess Spaniel, what do you think? Only teasing, she says. I’m glad you’re here to look after them.

“Night night Mossie, night night Bella”