Quarter Century

Little Dark One, me, The Cat [in a suitcase] and MBNAD woman all off There. One of those Fridays. Grand I thought, although The Cat had Views all the way from the Meat-and-Bread stop. Car was packed up to the lid with lots of stuff but no matter. I like being There and my MBNAD woman is really happy when we're There.

"Wales, Mossie. Powys, Home"

Late on, but we dont mind.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Humbug".

A big treat. The Tall One. All of them together, where I can herd them. Grand.


Turns out the Tall One is having a birthday.

Twenty-Five.

Old.

The Man with the Cat came too for the birthday.

Then they went out for food. Humph Can't see why - there's a whole cupboard full of food. Shouted a bit. Cat told me to shut up.

Humph

They had a special cake for the Tall One. She's good at cake so I always sit and wait expectantly just in case something falls off a plate. Funny thing about people - if food falls off a plate onto the floor, they don't want to eat it even if it's only a little bit gritty. As long as she tells me it's ok to have it, then I don't hang around. Anyway, this special cake ... just when I think she's not really Mad or not a real Witch, she does something very peculiar and I have to revise my opinions.

So they set fire to the cake and said incantations before eating it. What more evidence is needed? A Witch, without doubt. She'll get caught one of these days.

We didn't leave There on Sunday night. Turns out we could stay all week. And the Little Dark One, and the Tall One and The Cat.

They spent a lot of the week trying to stick a broken picture back together. Don't know why they had to buy a broken one.

We met Brucie's people and they went to a park. Then they came back for tea and had more of the Tall One's special cake. The Cat said some very bad words to Brucie. Brucie's woman said that she'd never heard a cat growl before. That ain't growling, that's swearing. Really bad swearing. Father Jack swearing.



Thank Dog, I couldn't fit. But my MBNAD woman could.



Lots of walks with boots and scenery. At the end of the last one, I was so tired that my MBNAD woman had to fetch the car while I waited with the Tall One. He had to carry me to the place where we waited for her. I could have walked but he wanted to be useful.



Time to turn There to Here again.

And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

Pontyfest - Music, Friends, Girlies, Snot and Lies

A There weekend. Off we go at the end of the week, car all packed up ready to go and we went all the way before the light had gone.

"Wales, Mossie, Powys. Home."

Once we'd unpacked, she went off to The Lion. This is not on, she shouldn't be going to pubs without me so I had to have a bit of a shout. By the time she'd got back I was a bit cross so I didn't notice straightway that she wasn't on her own. The Hello-Mister-Woman and her Man. I didn't think she lived in a pub since she was Here when my MBNAD woman had various vines and sad stuff. They're really good at ears since they practise on an Oscar.


They sat up chatting till late then the Hello-Mister-Woman and her Man unpacked their car and went to bed. Can't work out why they're Visitors if they live at the Lion but it's nice anyway since I get a lot of fuss and they're nice Visitors.

"Night night Mossie."

Brecon, Market. She bought some fish and some green slimy stuff which she's going to give to our Visitors for breakfast. Don't seem very kind to me. Visitors is nice. It's bad enough when she cooks sick for breakfast but it don't seem right to give them fried snot.


Pontyfest. Rain, rain, rain. Loud music and dancing and beer and lots of dogs, especially wobbles. Wasn't much struck on the idea of being a soggy wobble but we went into a big bright tent to stay dry. Don't know much about the music but I did like the people. And the grub. I got left over beef casserole, faggots, burger and a bit of sausage. My MBNAD woman said I wouldn't need my dinner after all that lot. Don't you believe it. Plenty of space.

She kept finding people to say hello to. First of all there was one of the Men of Sweyn's Eye and then the Woman-Who-Likes-Cats-Really. Turns out they're staying at Pontyfest in a tent. Now my MBNAD woman likes outdoor food but I've never seen her do outdoor sleeping. Well, maybe a little bit in the garden but we've never been out there all night. She don't half have some strange friends. I just hope she don't get the idea of outdoor sleeping. Now I've got the hang of being an indoor dog, I really don't want to give up my bed




Then there was a Woman of Sweyn's Eye and her Man and Girlie. Nice people. Plenty of fuss. Grand.

Next two Girlies belonging to the Man of Sweyn's Eye and the Woman-Who-Likes-Cats-Really. Cor. Spent a bit of time chatting them up.

Music was alright too I spose.

Had a bit of a problem with a basket.



Please don't laugh too much.


"Night night Mossie."

Sunshine and walking at one of my MBNAD woman's favourite places where she can look at a View. The Visitors liked the View too and didn't seem to hold fried snot breakfast against her. She told them that the snot comes out when Pen-y-Fan erupts. Dreadful. The snot is bad enough but lying about it is even worse.

Catflap cottage and food then the Visitors left. Seemed like a lot of fuss putting things in the car when they were only going as far as the Lion. Turns out I was wrong. They live near Here after all. I felt a right wobble. I wish I had the Princess around to help me out with that kind of thing.

When we have to leave There to come back Here, she always tidies up and makes sure everything is ready for coming back but this time she went off to the place with dead people in the garden. Not for the normal thing but for Music. Not on, I shout after her. I do Music. If I did Pontyfest, can't see why I can't do this Music. Bah

Then she came back at bedtime and off we went and when I woke up we were back Here. Midnight. Witchy

"Night night Mossie."

For Brucie's Woman

Flying Saucers

Since the blackberries have been appearing, my MBNAD woman has started taking a small plastic pot out when we go for a walk. Between the lead, spare poo bags, a ball for fetch games and now the plastic pot, she’s loaded down. Then she appears with a plastic dinner plate as well which I reckoned was for more blackberries.

So off we go for our walk and when we get to the field where we play the fetch the ball game, she threw the dinner plate. I stood and looked at her, encouraging like, waiting for her to work out that she had thrown a dinner plate. It pains me to say this, but my early verdict that she’s MAD hasn’t changed.

She smiled at me and said “Go on, Mossie, go and fetch it”. I stood there patiently hoping that she would work out that it was a dinner plate. Nothing. So she trotted across the field and picked it up. At last, I thought, she’s got the idea and has realised that she’s thrown the wrong thing. Not a bit of it. Smiled at me again and then threw the plate again. Good Dog, I thought, she’s lost it totally. Once we've got through the dinner service we’ll be out here chucking saucepans and casserole dishes.

Off we go again. Same performance – she ran off to the plate, smiled and pointed. Yes, it’s a dinner plate, I nod encouragingly. How long is this nonsense going to go on? The only thing I could think of was to humour her. So I picked it up in the hope that she’d give it a rest.

Not as easy as you might think, picking up dinner plates. Tried getting my nose under it but the best thing was flicking it with my paw and then catching it in my teeth. She was so pleased at my crockery catching so we did it again. And again. And again.

Then I bit a hole in it but she weren’t cross. Evidently, this dinner plate is just for me.




Like I said mad.

Doodles, Devon and Dinkydots

She’s got this bright red bag that we take away when we go There. I know to watch out for the signs of putting stuff in the bag. Friday morning we went out for my Just-Before-She-Abandons-Me walk but we weren’t in the usual hurry. She dawdled and took a plastic box out. While I found dock leaves and thistles to pee on, she started poking at some sharp twigs with some black berries, picking the best ones to put in the plastic box. Evidently best meant they didn’t have no passengers. I’d have thought the passengers were the best bit. Anyway, it was a pleasant surprise when she didn’t go to Work and was messing about with the bag and putting lots of stuff in her shopping basket too. Jam, biscuits, bottles, sausages. Hmmm sausages. I thought.

When we go There or Cambridge or The Middle of the World, I get myself settled down on the back seat for a good sleep since long drives are very tiring. She was getting out of the car when I woke up,and saying she wouldn’t be long so I expected this to be the Meat-and-Bread stop. She came back with lots of warm, nutty smelling bread and some other things that I couldn’t quite place. Meat wrapped up in pastry. I had rather hoped to investigate them properly but she put them in the back bit of the car where I can’t reach.

Expecting it to be the Throw-Money-at-it-Bridge next, I was a bit shocked to find that we had parked outside a Strange House. Well, strange to me. C’mon, Mossie, out you get and be sociable. So I got out expecting to be on Best Boy Behaviour when this young fluffy effort shot past, did a handbrake turn and came back all breathless. Hello darling, she said, I’m Twiglet. Have you come to see my new baby brothers and sisters? Then she nudged me and asked if I wanted to play. While I was trying to work out what sort of a dog she was, a wobble showed up. Nice chap, bit serious. Afternoon, I’m Jack. Belong here, now. Tess, the old lady, huffed up gave me a long hard stare and asked what had happened to the Princess. When I mentioned that she’d Gone, Tess turned away and puffed a bit more. Happens to us all, eventually, she said. Then she sneezed and we all jumped back to avoid being covered in snot. While I was trying to work out if I had any quick post-snot grooming to do, a Very Gracious Lady came up behind me and told me she was so pleased to welcome me to her home and how I should make myself comfortable and, when ready, could come in to see the Babies as long as I didn’t get too near. That’s my Mama said Twiglet. Isn’t she beautiful? Scrumpy. Cor. She is too. I wondered where the Sire was but evidently he don’t live there. Time was … but all I can do is remember now. And dream.

So after I’d been polite and peed on a bit of the garden, I went in and saw the Babies. Eight. No wonder Scrumpy gets extra meals.



Goodbye Twelve-Dog-House, hello Devon. Red-and-Gold Woman and Tall Man’s house by the river. Cat with a bit of an accent and a deal of language. I try explaining that 1) I like cats since I’m a farm dog and 2) I’ve been cussed at by a professional. Don’t make no difference. MBNAD woman brings in my blanket and I sit down in the kitchen all homely.

One of Scrumpy's babies is going to live with Red-and-Gold Woman and Tall Man so I'm just introducing the Cat to some canine ways. Don't seem keen.




Just before dinner, we go out for a walk. I remember the Princess telling me that they used to say that when she died she’d go to Devon. Looked pretty Devonly to me. She also told me that I had to go to visit Wilf. Out the gate, turn right and keep on till you get to the Basket Factory. Off we went, and at the top of the driveway was a slightly wuffity spaniel, Wilf. Gave him the news about HRH and then we had a short commiseration about castration. He’s just been done and keeps hoping they’ll grow back. I explain to him that bollocks ain’t like toenails.

Back to the Red-and-Gold Woman and Tall Man’s house. After dinner I thought we might go Here or There. But apparently, we’re Visitors. There’s another Lady staying too who makes a fuss of me. I like being a Visitor. Fuss, new places to own and a cat dinner to steal. Grand. Just grand.

In the morning we went to the next village to collect a Girlie. It’s a Girlie that belongs with Red-and-Gold Woman and Tall Man. I gave her a nice bit of blarney and in return she gave me lots of hugs. More people, related to Red-and-Gold Woman. They had crisps. Not bad this Visiting.




Time to go back to Here. Long drive, rain. But when we got back, the Little Dark One was there, waiting for us. Lovely, I thought, she’s come with a case, so she’ll be with me all week.

Lies, all lies. How could she? When MBNAD woman took me out for my Just-Before-She-Abandons-Me walk, I thought, great, I’ll have the Little Dark One here all day. Not a bit of it. How could she? They went to Work together. I’m not happy. Bitch., I grump.

Yes, alright, I do get to walk with both of them in the evening, and MBNAD woman takes me out first thing and my DB is back. On the upside, they come home together and we go out walking in the evening. Me and the Little One and my MBNAD woman.
But, still. Bitch.

My MBNAD woman really likes outside food. As we sat and watched the light go, two little shadows appeared in the garden.




Little dinkydots from next door. Under the fence. Hello Mossie. Hello Dinkydots.