Colliewobble

Gone, bereft, desolate. Colliewobble. All woo hoo over. Don't be daft, says the voice.
The man with the Cat, the Litter and even the Cat left leaving just MBNAD woman. Yes, says the voice, patiently, that's because this is HER house and you live with her. But why couldn't they stay with me, I moan. I spend the day hugging her. Which makes her day a bit difficult since she's busy doing things with beds, washing, ironing and cooking. She falls over me quite a bit. Then we go shopping and she fills up the car with food.
I reckon these beds are going to fill up again soon, says the voice. You wait, she'll have lots of friends here soon. But I want the Litter back, I sob. Even the Cat would be nice. Pack it in, says the voice. When I was a pup, she would fill up the house with friends and they would have big parties. She did one here before you arrived and it would be great if there were more times like that. Sometimes there would be family too but they were mainly old people. There was an old lady who used to get my name wrong and used to wind MBNAD woman up with cranky behaviour. But still they loved each other.
So, says the voice, you are going to be a good and cheerful Colliewobble. Anyway, you'll be like an old tart as soon as the friends arrive. Spose so.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella".

Mossie's First Woo Hoo Christmas

Yes, I know that I am ten years old but I have never had a Christmas before. I knew that indoor dogs had Christmas and, to be blunt, thought that it was all a bit ridiculous. Outdoor dogs have work to do. As far as I can tell, sheep don't have Christmas.
Since MBNAD woman and the Litter had been up so late, they were still lying in bed when there was a knock at the door. It was the Man who lives with the Cat. More bags, parcels and boxes.
More fuss and love for Mossie too. Woo hoo as the Little One says. Lots more woo hoo to come, says the voice.
Then they're cooking and chattering and opening parcels and cooking and laughing and ME, I'm in the middle of it. And there are even parcels for me. Balls and treats. Woo hoo. Hmmm, Merry Christmas, Mossie, since you seem to be permanent, says the Cat. And to you too, Bah Humbug, I reply. She bats me across the nose, but with the claws in. Don't try irony with me, sonny.
Our walk probably wasn't my finest moment. I couldn't face up to walking past those sheepdogs since they shouted that I was a wuss. Alright, I'm a 21kg wuss carried by the Tall One. You are supposed to protect them, not the other way round, says the voice. They love and care for you, you protect them. Get it? I think she's laughing at me. And I would protect them against anything except sheepdogs and terrifiers.
And how can I tell you about my dinner? They had this big bird. MBNAD woman got it from the place where they sell the deer. If they got this off the road, then the car that hit it is probably well and truly dented. And they gave me some. Woo hoo.

"Night night Mossie, night night Bella, night night Humbug."

The same thing again yesterday. Visiting the Lady Next Door with the Dog with Leanings, I found that she has a cat too - small, very very old with no teeth, so I risked being friendly with it.
More walks, parcels, cooking and fuss. I am so tired that I fall asleep leaning on the Little One and when I wake up she is smiling at me. Woo hoo.
Dozing in front of the fire, I wonder if all the others who travelled with me from the home have had a woo hoo Christmas. I hope that Ann and all the ones still in the home have had a woo hoo Christmas too.

"Night night Mossie, night night Bella, night night Humbug."

The Mossie and the Ivy

So this is Christmas...

No, says the voice, you wait.

But how can it be better than this (even if I did get bitten by someone less than half my size)?

My week started badly. She went out for an evening. The Blonde comes to take me out for a walk and gives me my dinner, but even so, I EXPECT it to be MBNAD woman. When she got home, she had someone with her. A tall man. Young, a bit like the little one but bigger and younger. Lots of long, curly hair. I think that they are her Litter. This is the one whose smell has been around in this house but I have never seen him. He looks at me sadly, and then kneels and strokes me. He sits hugging me for a whole hour. This is nice. I think he's sad because of the old white dog. The voice tells me how much she loves him. In the morning he leaves but I'm glad I met him because he always smelled nice.

Just before the end of the week she appears with the little one and THAT Cat (in a suitcase!). It says something deeply rude. Before bed she's got lots of boxes and cases and packages ready filling up the hall. But we don't go anywhere. If she doesn't tidy this lot up we'll all be falling over. She's not usually this messy. Perhaps it's the influence of that cat. I watch carefully so that she can't escape withtout me but eventually we go to bed.

"Night night Mossie, Night night Bella, Night night Humbug"

I fall asleep smiling to myself. Even I can't be scared by someone named after a boiled sweet.

In the morning, I get worried that she will pack the car without me. But she doesn't. She gets me into the car and then Boiled-Sweet-Cat. We go first - I'm so happy not to be left behind. Then all the packages. And boxes. And bags. And more bags.

Wales, Powys, Home.

Bags, bags, boxes, packages all reversed out of the car. Then me and Humbug. Oh dear. I've just remembered what I did to the catflaps. I expect to get a hardboiled stare.

We go to the market. Eddie Stickmaker is not there but there is a grand stall with meat and cheese and MBNAD woman fills the basket with some nice things. I expect they're not for me.

Seem to have got away with the catflap. Apparently, the big piece of wood over the hole formerly known as a catflap stops the cat going out and getting squashed on the road. Which is a Good Thing.




On Saturday morning, we bundled in the car without the cat and set off for a drive to a place where we wait for a huge car that doesn't travel on the tarmac road. Instead it goes on its own stony road with two skinny rails for its wheels to run on. If we'd had one of these yesterday, me and Humbug would have been able to stretch out a bit and perhaps she wouldn't have had to travel in a suitcase. Perhaps we'd just come to look at the big car or maybe she's going to get one. Shame it doesn't come nearer to the cottage. Anyway, it's quite interesting to see all the people so I watch them all. And then, oh yes, it's the Tall One. He's here - let joy be unconfined.

Sunday she took me and the Tall One and the Little One visiting. There were lots of people: big ones, little ones, young ones and old ones. And two dogs. One has issues and was locked in the car so I only got to smell him on some of the people. But the other one, little and white terrier and very bouncy, lives there so it is full of his toys and bed. He tells me which are his people: Kind Man, Tall Lady, Playstation Boy and Little Girl. MBNAD woman calls her High-maintenance-god-daughter. They all make a fuss of me and Bouncy Brucie doesn't mind.
Which is why I thought that sniffing the parcels would be ok. Bouncy Brucie turned into Bolshie Brucie and I had to hide behind Kind Man's legs.

On the upside, I got lots of hugs. Even if they did laugh at me for being scared of someone less than half my size. Not so much a terrier as a terrifier.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella. Night night Humbug".

This is Christmas,says the voice. Or, more properly, Christmas Eve. She's going to be busy so don't worry, it will be very special. Even more busy. Oh dear. But I've got The Litter to look after me and fuss over me.

After dinner, when I think that it's night night Mossie time, they get dressed and go out in the cold but without me or the cat. Off to the place with dead people in the garden. When they get back it's really late and I can't keep my eyes from closing.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella. Night night Humbug".

This is Christmas. says the voice. Make it special.

Eloise and Abelard

I have had a wonderful week. When we came back on Sunday, she brought loads of stuff from the little dark one's home. There's so much that she does that I don't understand so I just had a sniff at the bags to check if she's put the little dark one in there, but, no.
The week started as normal with work, Blonde, walks and dinner. But then a couple of afternoons back, I had a lovely surprise. The little dark one arrived. Oh yes, oh yes. I chatted to her and she was really pleased with my conversational skills. There's lots of stuff that I can do that they don't know about yet. Try smiling, says the voice. Hmmm, not sure I know how you do that.
The little dark one took me off for the evening to where That Cat lives. I had dinner and was allowed to curl up in the warm with my head on the little dark one's leg for ages and ages. I showed her how to do a neat trick. I will put my paws on her legs if she pats them. Think she may be worth training.
Just as I was wondering where I would sleep for the night MBNAD woman comes to take me home.
"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella" Did I dream the little dark one? No, she'll be back in the morning, said the voice.

Educating Mossie

I've had another week of watching her being busy. At the end of the week, she had another chair delivered. She was so pleased. Chairs and trees seem to make her happy. And you do, says the voice. You make her happy too. It's only a chair but she was all curled up in it, happy as anything. We had a visitor on Friday night. Another nice lady. She knows some very kind ladies who all love to cuddle me. This is very nice and it always seems to be the same for me. Nice warm house, cuddly people. I'm just beginning to get used to it.
She's brought another tree into the house. This one sparkles with all different colours and I think it's not real. Really not real. Doesn't smell right and I've never seen one that sparkles like this. Also when I walked round the back, I could see a wall string. It seems to please her and while she sat in her new chair smiling at her sparkle tree, I could curl up in front of the fire. Funny fire. She doesn't bring coal in but it seems to burn coal that never burns away. She probably is a witch but no-one seems to have guessed except me. I really like how warm I can get in front of the fire although she seems to think I might burn my tail. Not if I tuck it in really tightly.



Today, we went in the car for another long drive. I thought we might be off to the other place but when we arrived there were no hills and there were lots of streets and cars and people. We left the car in a funny building with lots of cars and then climbed some stairs that I didn't much like. "C'mon, Mossie, I can't carry you". I didn't want her to carry me, I just didn't want to go up those stairs. When we staggered to the top of the stairs, there was a lovely treat for me. There was the little dark one. This is where she keeps her! In a room with all her stuff: clothes and books and essence of HER. I do so much like the little dark one. She's really good to hug and she gave me some nice treats.
Then we went off to a pub where we sat in the warm and I had some chips and cheese. "Do you like Cambridge, Mossie?" asked the little dark one. You bet.

Burnham Wood and other metaphysical matters

Another week where she goes off to work, my divine Blonde takes me out for a walk, MBNAD woman comes back and we have dinner, she goes out sometimes in the evening and I shout at her. And so it goes. Then some deeply weird things happen. They usually involve MBNAD woman but one of them involved my Blonde. After taking me for a lovely walk, she brought a package into the house. It has tiny bone shaped treats stuck onto a tree shaped thing. When MBNAD woman gets back, she smiles at it and says, "Ooh Mossie, I don't think that Bella ever had an Advent Calendar". No, I didn't, but I did get some tree decorations and red-and-gold woman's old dog sucked some chocolate coins one Christmas, said the voice, you'll have lots of fun. And you MUST be nice to her.
So this is Christmas? Outside dogs don't have Christmas. What else will happen.

Then when we get to the end of the week, she starts doing the fussing thing with the car. I try really hard to make sure she won't leave me behind so I make sure I get in the car. "Ooof, Mossie, you are a soppy boy. I'm not going to abandon you". Does she mean it? While I'm sitting clinging onto the seat, wondering to myself whether she means it, she comes out of the house with a chair. Well, you'll have to put that on the roof, I think to myself, because I'm not shifitng. Next thing, she starts to fiddle with a switch in the car. She does a lot of playing around with buttons and switches mainly to make music come out, so I settle myself down, thinking I'm sorted. Then there's a draught over my head. What? How? The top of the car is disappearing. Yes, I meant that : disappearing. The top of the car is sliding away. I get up sharpish and have a quick shout at her just in case she doesn't spot what's happening. MBNAD woman doesn't seem surprised at all. Then she puts the chair in the car and the roof comes back. I think that she could have been burned for that kind of thing. I hope she doesn't get burned because I like being with her.

Supernatural matters dealt with, off we go. "Wales, Powys, home, Mossie."

Shopping. She took me to the Market Hall where a nice man called Eddie Stickmaker was selling walking sticks and shepherd's crooks. No sheep, but she wants a stick. She tells the man about the old white dog without having a wet moment and the man says he will make one for her. What about this boy; do you want one for him, he asks. Not for a few years yet she says.

We went to the place where she gets the deer. I'm not allowed inside but she comes out with more deer. For Christmas. I wonder if they scrape them all off the road or if there's somewhere else they come from.

Next she buys a tree. This garden thing looks obsessive to me. Back at the house, I expect her to start a digging hole for this tree. But no ... she brings it into the house. Then I realise that it's not real. She covers it with lights and baubles and tiny figures and then give me a hard stare and tells me not to pee on it. As if ... doesn't she realise that I am a true gentleman and would never pee indoors. Anyway I only pee on real trees. I have my standards. Which is more than you can say for people who bring trees indoors. "D'you think it's a bit naff, Mossie?" What can I say? It's not a real tree and it's indoors. She tells me that it was made popular by someone called Victoria'n'Albert who may have run a pub or been the Posh'n'Becks of their day. Either way, trees indoors ...




Christmas, says the voice. Lot's more strange stuff to come. You wait.

Cold sharp proper winter afternoon. We walk from the village up to the hills behind where a big, powerful bird is hovering over the fields. I know those birds are bad and have sharp talons and beaks. She thinks they are magnificent. Wouldn't think that if she was a rabbit.

We pass some sheepdogs who shout at me so I hid behind her legs. "Oh Mossie, you are soppy". Anyway, they come skittering down the lane towards us, showing off and then dart behind us. Ok, I steal myself for a bite at the back of the legs and I don't want her bitten either. I didn't reckon with what came next. MBNAD woman whirled round and yelled at them in a language that may be related to cat. Certainly good for swearing. They slunk off. She's good. On our way back, they came up all friendly-like. How'd your nose get like that, they ask? Fightin', I say as we sauntered off.