And the Academy Award for the Best Leading Man ...

One night a week (Thursday, it's Thursday, best day of the week, chortles the voice) she carries a bag with rubbish and boxes with old bottles and paper to the front of the drive. Early the next day, some men take the stuff away. I always used to help her take the rubbish to the bottom of the drive, I am reminded, so it's your job now. I always tried to save some, the occasional chicken carcass or piece of old cheese. She always made me put it back though, complained HRH. Now, I know about helping. I can round up sheep any day of the week. Can't see why she needs helping with this but if the Princess tells me I need to do it, then I'll help. I like being with MBNAD woman in any case.
After taking the rubbish out I went to sniff at her car just in case she wanted to go out. Just so I was positioned to get in. "No, Mossie, c'mon back in", she hollered so I trotted across to her. That's when it happened. Just outside the house there's a little drain hole and one of my paws slipped into it. I was so focused on getting back indoors, that I kept running. Well three of my legs did. Oouff. Ouch. While I was trying to work out what happened she ran back and picked me up and carried me back in. Then she checked my poorly paw, washed the red stuff away and then hugged me better. We got really comfortable sitting on the floor. Her working clothes probably need a bit of a clean now but I think that I did give her a good chance to show her caring nature. Oscar-winning performance, said the voice, couldn't have done better myself.