Everything I know, I learnt from ...

Every week she takes all the bed coverings off and puts clean ones on. Personally, I don’t get it. The ones she takes off are just starting to smell right and the new ones just smell of washing stuff. Another couple of weeks and they would be even nicer. As she takes the old ones off, she throws them on the floor and I give them a good sniff.

Go on, they are just lovely, says the voice. You could curl up on there and get so comfortable. Every week, she tells me the same thing.

But I’m just not sure. This may be something that Princesses can do but might earn a Colliewobble a beating. Oh, for Heaven’s sake, sighs the Princess, she don’t do beatings. They’re not her style. She might give you a Hard Stare and Go-to-your-bed-NOW but she don’t do beatings. That’s Bad People. MBNAD – remember? Give it a try, wheedles the agent provocateur.


So I moved sideways onto the heap of bed things but just waited for a bit in case I was in trouble.


But she just laughed.
“Stop teaching him bad ways, Bella!”
That witchy laugh that means that it’s ok.







Well, it’s more than ok.
It’s grand.





Curling up on the soft cotton bed things that smell of her, warm soft witchy smell.

She can sleep on my bed if she likes.