Bridge too far over troubled water

I cannot even imagine why I am telling you these next bits.

Where MBNAD woman takes me for my morning and evening walk, there are two small bridges. Really little, if I stretched out properly, I could reach both ends. So why did this happen? Just before the bridge there's one of these bin things that people put dog poo in. The smell is just great, so I suppose I was a bit distracted. I probably didn't have my head and feet going the same way. Great sense of flying. Briefly. Big splash. I fell off the bridge.
MBNAD woman laughed. "Oh, oh, oh", she wheezed, "Bella never did that".
No, I didn't, said the voice, but sometimes, I got down there anyway. Mud's great isn't it.

In the evening, there was this beautiful girl. Black Labrador. Gorgeous. Get a load of this. C'mon big boy, I'm all yours. Man with her gets a bit worried, "She's in season, so I'm trying to keep her away from other dogs". MBNAD woman smiles and says "He can't do anything about it; he's missing the necessary bits". Oh marvellous. Broadcast it, why don't you.

I slink off. Spirit willing, flesh extracted.