Saturday, 29 December 2007

Colliewobble

Gone, bereft, desolate. Colliewobble. All woo hoo over. Don't be daft, says the voice.
The man with the Cat, the Litter and even the Cat left leaving just MBNAD woman. Yes, says the voice, patiently, that's because this is HER house and you live with her. But why couldn't they stay with me, I moan. I spend the day hugging her. Which makes her day a bit difficult since she's busy doing things with beds, washing, ironing and cooking. She falls over me quite a bit. Then we go shopping and she fills up the car with food.
I reckon these beds are going to fill up again soon, says the voice. You wait, she'll have lots of friends here soon. But I want the Litter back, I sob. Even the Cat would be nice. Pack it in, says the voice. When I was a pup, she would fill up the house with friends and they would have big parties. She did one here before you arrived and it would be great if there were more times like that. Sometimes there would be family too but they were mainly old people. There was an old lady who used to get my name wrong and used to wind MBNAD woman up with cranky behaviour. But still they loved each other.
So, says the voice, you are going to be a good and cheerful Colliewobble. Anyway, you'll be like an old tart as soon as the friends arrive. Spose so.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella".

Thursday, 27 December 2007

Mossie's First Woo Hoo Christmas


Yes, I know that I am ten years old but I have never had a Christmas before. I knew that indoor dogs had Christmas and, to be blunt, thought that it was all a bit ridiculous. Outdoor dogs have work to do. As far as I can tell, sheep don't have Christmas.
Since MBNAD woman and the Litter had been up so late, they were still lying in bed when there was a knock at the door. It was the Man who lives with the Cat. More bags, parcels and boxes.
More fuss and love for Mossie too. Woo hoo as the Little One says. Lots more woo hoo to come, says the voice.
Then they're cooking and chattering and opening parcels and cooking and laughing and ME, I'm in the middle of it. And there are even parcels for me. Balls and treats. Woo hoo. Hmmm, Merry Christmas, Mossie, since you seem to be permanent, says the Cat. And to you too, Bah Humbug, I reply. She bats me across the nose, but with the claws in. Don't try irony with me, sonny.
Our walk probably wasn't my finest moment. I couldn't face up to walking past those sheepdogs since they shouted that I was a wuss. Alright, I'm a 21kg wuss carried by the Tall One. You are supposed to protect them, not the other way round, says the voice. They love and care for you, you protect them. Get it? I think she's laughing at me. And I would protect them against anything except sheepdogs and terrifiers.
And how can I tell you about my dinner? They had this big bird. MBNAD woman got it from the place where they sell the deer. If they got this off the road, then the car that hit it is probably well and truly dented. And they gave me some. Woo hoo.

"Night night Mossie, night night Bella, night night Humbug."

The same thing again yesterday. Visiting the Lady Next Door with the Dog with Leanings, I found that she has a cat too - small, very very old with no teeth, so I risked being friendly with it.
More walks, parcels, cooking and fuss. I am so tired that I fall asleep leaning on the Little One and when I wake up she is smiling at me. Woo hoo.
Dozing in front of the fire, I wonder if all the others who travelled with me from the home have had a woo hoo Christmas. I hope that Ann and all the ones still in the home have had a woo hoo Christmas too.

"Night night Mossie, night night Bella, night night Humbug."

Monday, 24 December 2007

The Mossie and the Ivy

So this is Christmas...

No, says the voice, you wait.

But how can it be better than this (even if I did get bitten by someone less than half my size)?

My week started badly. She went out for an evening. The Blonde comes to take me out for a walk and gives me my dinner, but even so, I EXPECT it to be MBNAD woman. When she got home, she had someone with her. A tall man. Young, a bit like the little one but bigger and younger. Lots of long, curly hair. I think that they are her Litter. This is the one whose smell has been around in this house but I have never seen him. He looks at me sadly, and then kneels and strokes me. He sits hugging me for a whole hour. This is nice. I think he's sad because of the old white dog. The voice tells me how much she loves him. In the morning he leaves but I'm glad I met him because he always smelled nice.

Just before the end of the week she appears with the little one and THAT Cat (in a suitcase!). It says something deeply rude. Before bed she's got lots of boxes and cases and packages ready filling up the hall. But we don't go anywhere. If she doesn't tidy this lot up we'll all be falling over. She's not usually this messy. Perhaps it's the influence of that cat. I watch carefully so that she can't escape withtout me but eventually we go to bed.

"Night night Mossie, Night night Bella, Night night Humbug"

I fall asleep smiling to myself. Even I can't be scared by someone named after a boiled sweet.

In the morning, I get worried that she will pack the car without me. But she doesn't. She gets me into the car and then Boiled-Sweet-Cat. We go first - I'm so happy not to be left behind. Then all the packages. And boxes. And bags. And more bags.

Wales, Powys, Home.

Bags, bags, boxes, packages all reversed out of the car. Then me and Humbug. Oh dear. I've just remembered what I did to the catflaps. I expect to get a hardboiled stare.

We go to the market. Eddie Stickmaker is not there but there is a grand stall with meat and cheese and MBNAD woman fills the basket with some nice things. I expect they're not for me.

Seem to have got away with the catflap. Apparently, the big piece of wood over the hole formerly known as a catflap stops the cat going out and getting squashed on the road. Which is a Good Thing.




On Saturday morning, we bundled in the car without the cat and set off for a drive to a place where we wait for a huge car that doesn't travel on the tarmac road. Instead it goes on its own stony road with two skinny rails for its wheels to run on. If we'd had one of these yesterday, me and Humbug would have been able to stretch out a bit and perhaps she wouldn't have had to travel in a suitcase. Perhaps we'd just come to look at the big car or maybe she's going to get one. Shame it doesn't come nearer to the cottage. Anyway, it's quite interesting to see all the people so I watch them all. And then, oh yes, it's the Tall One. He's here - let joy be unconfined.

Sunday she took me and the Tall One and the Little One visiting. There were lots of people: big ones, little ones, young ones and old ones. And two dogs. One has issues and was locked in the car so I only got to smell him on some of the people. But the other one, little and white terrier and very bouncy, lives there so it is full of his toys and bed. He tells me which are his people: Kind Man, Tall Lady, Playstation Boy and Little Girl. MBNAD woman calls her High-maintenance-god-daughter. They all make a fuss of me and Bouncy Brucie doesn't mind.
Which is why I thought that sniffing the parcels would be ok. Bouncy Brucie turned into Bolshie Brucie and I had to hide behind Kind Man's legs.

On the upside, I got lots of hugs. Even if they did laugh at me for being scared of someone less than half my size. Not so much a terrier as a terrifier.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella. Night night Humbug".

This is Christmas,says the voice. Or, more properly, Christmas Eve. She's going to be busy so don't worry, it will be very special. Even more busy. Oh dear. But I've got The Litter to look after me and fuss over me.

After dinner, when I think that it's night night Mossie time, they get dressed and go out in the cold but without me or the cat. Off to the place with dead people in the garden. When they get back it's really late and I can't keep my eyes from closing.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella. Night night Humbug".

This is Christmas. says the voice. Make it special.

Friday, 14 December 2007

Eloise and Abelard

I have had a wonderful week. When we came back on Sunday, she brought loads of stuff from the little dark one's home. There's so much that she does that I don't understand so I just had a sniff at the bags to check if she's put the little dark one in there, but, no.
The week started as normal with work, Blonde, walks and dinner. But then a couple of afternoons back, I had a lovely surprise. The little dark one arrived. Oh yes, oh yes. I chatted to her and she was really pleased with my conversational skills. There's lots of stuff that I can do that they don't know about yet. Try smiling, says the voice. Hmmm, not sure I know how you do that.
The little dark one took me off for the evening to where That Cat lives. I had dinner and was allowed to curl up in the warm with my head on the little dark one's leg for ages and ages. I showed her how to do a neat trick. I will put my paws on her legs if she pats them. Think she may be worth training.
Just as I was wondering where I would sleep for the night MBNAD woman comes to take me home.
"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella" Did I dream the little dark one? No, she'll be back in the morning, said the voice.

Sunday, 9 December 2007

Educating Mossie

I've had another week of watching her being busy. At the end of the week, she had another chair delivered. She was so pleased. Chairs and trees seem to make her happy. And you do, says the voice. You make her happy too. It's only a chair but she was all curled up in it, happy as anything. We had a visitor on Friday night. Another nice lady. She knows some very kind ladies who all love to cuddle me. This is very nice and it always seems to be the same for me. Nice warm house, cuddly people. I'm just beginning to get used to it.
She's brought another tree into the house. This one sparkles with all different colours and I think it's not real. Really not real. Doesn't smell right and I've never seen one that sparkles like this. Also when I walked round the back, I could see a wall string. It seems to please her and while she sat in her new chair smiling at her sparkle tree, I could curl up in front of the fire. Funny fire. She doesn't bring coal in but it seems to burn coal that never burns away. She probably is a witch but no-one seems to have guessed except me. I really like how warm I can get in front of the fire although she seems to think I might burn my tail. Not if I tuck it in really tightly.



Today, we went in the car for another long drive. I thought we might be off to the other place but when we arrived there were no hills and there were lots of streets and cars and people. We left the car in a funny building with lots of cars and then climbed some stairs that I didn't much like. "C'mon, Mossie, I can't carry you". I didn't want her to carry me, I just didn't want to go up those stairs. When we staggered to the top of the stairs, there was a lovely treat for me. There was the little dark one. This is where she keeps her! In a room with all her stuff: clothes and books and essence of HER. I do so much like the little dark one. She's really good to hug and she gave me some nice treats.
Then we went off to a pub where we sat in the warm and I had some chips and cheese. "Do you like Cambridge, Mossie?" asked the little dark one. You bet.

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Burnham Wood and other metaphysical matters

Another week where she goes off to work, my divine Blonde takes me out for a walk, MBNAD woman comes back and we have dinner, she goes out sometimes in the evening and I shout at her. And so it goes. Then some deeply weird things happen. They usually involve MBNAD woman but one of them involved my Blonde. After taking me for a lovely walk, she brought a package into the house. It has tiny bone shaped treats stuck onto a tree shaped thing. When MBNAD woman gets back, she smiles at it and says, "Ooh Mossie, I don't think that Bella ever had an Advent Calendar". No, I didn't, but I did get some tree decorations and red-and-gold woman's old dog sucked some chocolate coins one Christmas, said the voice, you'll have lots of fun. And you MUST be nice to her.
So this is Christmas? Outside dogs don't have Christmas. What else will happen.

Then when we get to the end of the week, she starts doing the fussing thing with the car. I try really hard to make sure she won't leave me behind so I make sure I get in the car. "Ooof, Mossie, you are a soppy boy. I'm not going to abandon you". Does she mean it? While I'm sitting clinging onto the seat, wondering to myself whether she means it, she comes out of the house with a chair. Well, you'll have to put that on the roof, I think to myself, because I'm not shifitng. Next thing, she starts to fiddle with a switch in the car. She does a lot of playing around with buttons and switches mainly to make music come out, so I settle myself down, thinking I'm sorted. Then there's a draught over my head. What? How? The top of the car is disappearing. Yes, I meant that : disappearing. The top of the car is sliding away. I get up sharpish and have a quick shout at her just in case she doesn't spot what's happening. MBNAD woman doesn't seem surprised at all. Then she puts the chair in the car and the roof comes back. I think that she could have been burned for that kind of thing. I hope she doesn't get burned because I like being with her.

Supernatural matters dealt with, off we go. "Wales, Powys, home, Mossie."

Shopping. She took me to the Market Hall where a nice man called Eddie Stickmaker was selling walking sticks and shepherd's crooks. No sheep, but she wants a stick. She tells the man about the old white dog without having a wet moment and the man says he will make one for her. What about this boy; do you want one for him, he asks. Not for a few years yet she says.

We went to the place where she gets the deer. I'm not allowed inside but she comes out with more deer. For Christmas. I wonder if they scrape them all off the road or if there's somewhere else they come from.

Next she buys a tree. This garden thing looks obsessive to me. Back at the house, I expect her to start a digging hole for this tree. But no ... she brings it into the house. Then I realise that it's not real. She covers it with lights and baubles and tiny figures and then give me a hard stare and tells me not to pee on it. As if ... doesn't she realise that I am a true gentleman and would never pee indoors. Anyway I only pee on real trees. I have my standards. Which is more than you can say for people who bring trees indoors. "D'you think it's a bit naff, Mossie?" What can I say? It's not a real tree and it's indoors. She tells me that it was made popular by someone called Victoria'n'Albert who may have run a pub or been the Posh'n'Becks of their day. Either way, trees indoors ...




Christmas, says the voice. Lot's more strange stuff to come. You wait.

Cold sharp proper winter afternoon. We walk from the village up to the hills behind where a big, powerful bird is hovering over the fields. I know those birds are bad and have sharp talons and beaks. She thinks they are magnificent. Wouldn't think that if she was a rabbit.

We pass some sheepdogs who shout at me so I hid behind her legs. "Oh Mossie, you are soppy". Anyway, they come skittering down the lane towards us, showing off and then dart behind us. Ok, I steal myself for a bite at the back of the legs and I don't want her bitten either. I didn't reckon with what came next. MBNAD woman whirled round and yelled at them in a language that may be related to cat. Certainly good for swearing. They slunk off. She's good. On our way back, they came up all friendly-like. How'd your nose get like that, they ask? Fightin', I say as we sauntered off.

Sunday, 25 November 2007

Mea Culpa

It's taken me all week to confess to this, but I think she knew anyway. Who else could have done it. Not the old white dog. Last Sunday morning, she went off to the place where they have dead people in the garden but I wasn't allowed to go. "Back soon, Mossie" she said. I just don't know what soon is. She left the kitchen door open so as soon as she left I had another go at the catflap on the outside door. Took hardly any time at all to get it off and then it broke completely. Big hole in door so I could stick my head through and shout at her when she came back. "Oh Mossie, I only fixed that yesterday". I knew that. "I haven't got time to fix it now. You are a wicked boy". What does this mean. Might she send me away? Then she was cooking something - more deer, I think. They probably kill quite a lot of them on the roads round here. A visitor. She seems to be good at feeding visitors. Looks a bit like MBNAD woman and the short dark one but not from the same litter as either of them. Once they finish the deer, MBNAD woman says that she need to sort out the door. I watch her carefully, just peeping round the kitchen door in case she is cross with me. This time she gets a big piece of wood and tools and, making humphy noises, screws the wood over the hole in the door. That'll be more of a challenge, says the voice. Don't think I ever ate anything quite that substantial but I managed all the edges of a table and most of a dog bed in my younger days. "Humph, humph, stop telling him bad things Bella". By this time there is snow coming outside and she says we have to go otherwise we'll be "snowed in". Whatever .. I make sure I'm in the car first and we set off through all the soft white stuff. Shame, says the voice, we could have made snow angels. Snow WHAT? Back to the other house, sheepless work, walks with the Blonde. I am beginning to see a pattern here. Then we get to Friday. She takes me for my short walk when she gets home and then gets changed. I don't recognise these clothes: not dog walking and not work. Are we going in the car to the other house? Paint and smells though. In the car, but not me. "Back soon, Mossie" she said. I just don't know what soon is. When she got back she had a big package with garden stuff in it. I have noticed she likes to cut up bits of the garden and put them in pots of water in the house. This garden stuff smelled weird. Didn't come from her garden and a bit of it poked my nose. Ouch. Yesterday morning, she took me out for a great walk in the frost and we played blue bouncy ball. "Oh Mossie, this is great snow angels weather". She looks like she might have wet eyes and nose again.



Today, she was up fussing in the kitchen early. Another thing with string sticking in the wall - bowl-whizzer-box-wallstring. Lots of fruit, butter and eggs and things things smell like they might make you sneeze. After fussing and mixing, she emptied it all into some pots and put it into the oven. I think that may have a wallstring too since she never brings in coal. She is probably burning the stuff now. Maybe I'll get some to eat later. No, don't bother. It made me very sick. says the voice. The house smells warm and she is going to take me for another walk. Oh yes, yes, yes.

Saturday, 17 November 2007

Bread of Heaven

Since we arrived so late, I would have thought she would have been a bit tired today but she has been doing useful things all day. I'm tired just watching her.
But first I have to tell you about this morning. Breakfast is another strange thing. Sometimes she makes a bowl of something that looks like someone has eaten it first. To be honest, I'm not that bothered that she doesn't want to share a dish of sick with me. On weekends, she does something truly amazing. It starts with putting some magic dust in a wall string box that goes chunter and whirr for a while and then it begins to smell warm and then it smells just grand and the magic dust turns to bread. She takes the bread out of the wall string box and then slices it up and burns it. After burning it she puts some sweet stuff on it and gives me a little bit with butter. The burning machine has a wall string too. Now if she put the wall sting box in the bed it would be warm and smell great.
So she was a bit busy with other stuff when she was using the wall string burner. After spreading the sweet stuff on a piece of burnt bread, she got some other stuff and spread it on my piece. I have no idea what it is but that voice is back saying shut up, you'll like this bit.
Well I have never eaten anything like it before. Sticky, sweet, salty, nutty, weird, nice. Shame about your ears, says the voice. Nothing wrong with my ears, rather perky and intelligent looking. Yes, says the voice, but you can't save anything for later with short ears. Oh.
Then a man arrives with floor covers for the room attached to the kitchen. This is the room with the catflaps at either end. She spends all day fussing about it. Moving stuff, putting up new window covers. Up and down steps all day.
There Mossie, doesn't it look nice now. Ummm. Yes, spose so.
Catflaps are back in place too. For the moment.
We are sitting by a box with a window with a fire inside. No string with this. The fire can't spit at me so I don't mind sitting by it. She had to use some cat words to get it to start.
If she's not careful it will be
"Night night Mossie, Night night Bella" here in front of the fire.

Catflap Cottage redux

So she gets back from work (still no smell of sheep) and off we go on my pre-prandial stroll. Then she puts a nice dinner for me and while my brain is occupied stuffing my face, she starts filling up the car with bags and boxes again. This looks serious and I think that it may precede a kitchen lock-in. So, I swiftly polish off the last of the dinner and head to the car. While she's fussing with the back of the car, I try getting in but I can't get into the back seat where she has blanket for me. So, I settle myself down and sit on the seat next to her and curl up so I look really small. Not much of me hangs over the edge. Well done says a voice. I knew you'd work it out.
MBNAD woman comes out and laughs but doesn't shove me off the seat. Result.
Then off we go. Long drive like we did with red-and-gold woman. Lots of other cars giving rise to some extreme cat-language from MBNAD woman.
Wales, Mossie. Powys. Home.
Aha - it's that house again. No need for ears back and head down this time. I know it's ok. Even if there is that dog with leanings next door. Sticking his nose in my bottom is just nice manners but poking it into my ears strikes me as a bit personal.
Then she's off being busy. Definitely MAD.
It's certainly my bedtime even if MBNAD woman thinks that it's time for fiddling with unpacking books and bottles and putting up pictures. Then more weird stuff that I just had to watch.
She has a jug with a wall string which she fills with water. Then the water gets really hot. Normally she uses the jug-with-wall-string to make tea but tonight she gets a bag and fills it with the hot water. Then puts a stopper in the top of the bag and then puts the bag in her bed. She seems to get cold so the bag will keep her warm. Now if the wall string makes the water in the jug hot why doesn't she just put the wall string in her bed?
Or even better, why not a Mossie to curl up on the end of the bed? No, no, says the voice. She needs to think that you need the hug, not her.
"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella. We'll need to sort out those catflaps tomorrow." We certainly will.

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Of strings and things

Lovely lovely walk. Today she didn't do the work thing so early. I still wonder what it is that she's doing without involving sheep. Anyway off for a walk and just before we got to the door, she went back. I thought, oh no, she's changed her mind. No back to the kitchen for a bag with bread. Halfway through the door, she goes back again. Aha, this is it, I thought, another one of her ploys to get me into the kitchen. But no, just going back to collect the bouncy blue ball. She's going to need some training if she keeps fogetting things.


Then off round the pond. There's a little platform and she got out the paper bag. Bread bits. So I sat neatly. Nothing. Can you believe this? She threw them at a duck. At a duck! And every piece missed and it didn't fetch and it didn't sit neatly and it didn't put its head on her knee. I have no idea why you would throw bread at ducks but it made her happy enough and, generally speaking, I like it better when she's happy. As soon as we walked off the duck started collecting the bread bits.

Off to the bridge. I'm used to it now.



Then back to the house and the kitchen routine but I don't mind because the nice Blonde takes me out too.

When MBNAD woman comes home she does this cleaning thing. Does it a lot. She has a brush on a stick which I steer clear of. Some people can't be trusted with stick-brushes. But the other thing is just weird. It's like the stick-brush but it has a big box on it and a string that she sticks in the wall. You couldn't make this stuff up could you? Sticking a string in the wall. It makes a huge amount of noise whereas stick-brush is quiet. Stick-brush-box-string sucks up dog hair. To begin, I would stay as far away as possible but she only uses it for sucking up dog hair. Boy does it suck up dog hair. Pretty soon the box is full of my hair and she empties it into the bin. "Enough to make a spare dog Mossie". That worries me a bit because it does suggest that she doesn't know even the most basic facts of life. Perhaps that's why I was done - maybe she didn't know I had a use for them.
Then she's doing that wet thing from the eyes and nose again. I guess if she could make a spare dog it would be the old white one.
"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella".

Saturday, 10 November 2007

Bridge too far over troubled water

I cannot even imagine why I am telling you these next bits.

Where MBNAD woman takes me for my morning and evening walk, there are two small bridges. Really little, if I stretched out properly, I could reach both ends. So why did this happen? Just before the bridge there's one of these bin things that people put dog poo in. The smell is just great, so I suppose I was a bit distracted. I probably didn't have my head and feet going the same way. Great sense of flying. Briefly. Big splash. I fell off the bridge.
MBNAD woman laughed. "Oh, oh, oh", she wheezed, "Bella never did that".
No, I didn't, said the voice, but sometimes, I got down there anyway. Mud's great isn't it.

In the evening, there was this beautiful girl. Black Labrador. Gorgeous. Get a load of this. C'mon big boy, I'm all yours. Man with her gets a bit worried, "She's in season, so I'm trying to keep her away from other dogs". MBNAD woman smiles and says "He can't do anything about it; he's missing the necessary bits". Oh marvellous. Broadcast it, why don't you.

I slink off. Spirit willing, flesh extracted.

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Newton's law of cat flaps

Just when I turned my back, they escaped. There is a hole in the door with a flap thing for cats. I expect the cat with bad language swore at it every time she went through. Certainly swore at me. Isaac Newton invented the cat flap. If he had one with language like that, he wouldn't have gone round making holes in doors. And then what happened next wouldn't have happened.
If I stuck my head through the hole, I could see outside so I reckoned that if I worked on it, then I could get all the way out. Didn't work though. There's just a hole in the door now.
"Oh Mossie" she said. But didn't shout.

Tall man had cake and I put my head on his leg for ages but he didn't give me any. But he did stroke my ears.

Then they all got dressed up and went out again. Leaving me in the kitchen. Another cat flap. Another hole in the door. Still didn't get out. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. I chewed and the cat flap fell off. Pretty equal and opposite to the result I wanted.

"Oh Mossie" she said.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella" Did he really eat two cat flaps? "Mmmm"

Sunday 4th November
Man and red-and-gold woman went away today leaving me with MBNAD woman. She did more cutting up and digging and I supervised.
Then just as I was thinking about some tea, she packed everything up in the car and off again. This is really confusing. Monmouthshire, England, back again Mossie.
Ah, it's the house that I know. That's ok. In fact, that's grand. I like this place. There's a special step for the old white dog and that's ok with me.



I sniff the special stair as she goes to bed.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella"

Saturday, 3 November 2007

Terra Incognita

Another house. Smells of MBNAD woman, small dark one, another one (male, can't work him out but he had been in the other house too), THAT cat (the one with the bad language) and the white dog. For an old dog, she seemed to get around a lot. Lots of fuss with red-and-gold woman who doesn't know this house. Bed time.
"Night night, Mossie. Night night Bella". MBNAD woman is still sad, but doesn't cry and seems happier here. I wish I was too.

Friday 2nd November
Busy day. We go to a town with a place called a market. Fish, meat, eggs, cheese. None of it for me. MBNAD woman is really smiley today. She takes me everywhere with her, no going to work and she wears dog walking clothes all day.
In the afternoon we go for a walk and I meet some little boys who want to play ball. They are really good at throwing and didn't mind too much when the ball got holes in it. One of the smaller ones said the ball smelt of dog and was covered in dog spit. I wouldn't have minded if he spat on it too.
In the evening, MBNAD woman cooked something that smelled of heaven. Even better than jacket potato but I didn't get any of it. Called it venison but I reckon it was deer. She shared it with red-and-gold woman and another one who has a sheepdog called Smokey who seems to have leanings. Now, I'm all for diversity but there are limits. When they were still there, I speak of my sad loss, I wouldn't have stood for it but I suppose life is different now. Anyway, he seems to have been deprived in the same way as I have and he's an old boy, but it still didn't put him off. I'll have to watch out for that gleam in his eye.

"Night night Mossie. Night night Bella". Sleep well. Who said that?

Saturday 3rd November

They do something called gardening. It seems to be a bit like farming in miniature. A lot of cutting up, digging holes and putting in plants. Red-and-gold woman is really keen on this gardening thing and I can sit in the sunshine and watching them. This way they can't escape without me noticing.



We walk to the big building called a church and MBNAD woman asks if I can go in. Well if they can so can I. Funny big old building, quite cold and draughty. No sleeping or washing rooms that I can see at all. I like her gardens better. This garden is full of stones and underneath the stones are dead people. Not good.

Man arrives for food. Very tall, belongs with red-and-gold woman.

Girls, girls, girls

Wednesday 31st
Off she goes to this work. I am learning to spot it now - off with the dog walking clothes, a lot of washing, adding extra smells and paint and then different clothes and really silly shoes. Once I have spotted this, I make sure that I don't go into the kitchen room. Doesn't work of course because she does manage to get me in there. Soft words about being a "good boy" and how she will be back. But how can I tell? And how long will she need to be away? She tells me that someone will come to see me but who are they and why?
A few small woofs, but I hear her car going away. Why can't I go to work too?
Some time later, I hear the door open and the front of the house making this high pitched bleepy noise. It does it when she leaves and when she comes back, so I get ready to tell her how much I love her. But it's not her. Another woman, younger, pretty, with long blonde hair. Boy does she smell good - horses, dogs, cats, all sorts. She knows who I am and really makes a fuss of me. Then she gets my lead. Perhaps I am going to work with her? Off to her van, other dogs and then for a great walk with more and more new smells. Young really fluffy dog went chasing after a horse and I had to make sure the others behaved while that was all going on. I've never tried herding horses but I think that it's a lot harder than sheep. For a start they're bigger and have hard hooves. Some training needed, I feel, so perhaps I can help the Blonde to educate this one. And then back in the van and back to the house. No work. Strange. But I did like her and she called me a "sweetie". Old Irish charm still there, boy.
Back to sleep for a bit and I hear the door/bleep again. Sniff, different woman. Oh I like this one too. She chats away to me like crazy and has wonderful red and gold curly hair.
Another walk. Definitely no work going on today. She knows the pond walk and obviously knew the white dog and is a bit sad about her but not like MBNAD woman and the little dark one.
Then MBNAD woman is back and we have our evening walk and then she reads a paper left by red-and-gold woman. "You have had a lucky day for walks, haven't you Mossie?" But shes's not cross with me.

Thursday 1st November
Same routine for walking, her disappearing for work, walk with pretty Blonde.
Red-and-gold woman arrives again, with bags this time. Is she moving in? Small dark one came with bags too so perhaps it's just temporary. Anyway, she knows the walking places so that's grand with me.
MBNAD woman gets back and it's all busy again. Changing clothes - check out they are more like dog walking clothes, so that's ok. Then bags, baskets, boxes all into the car. No don't leave me, please. Desperate, I cling to her legs, leaning on her so it's hard for her to go. Red-and-gold woman suggests letting me go to the car. No idea what they are doing but at least I am not being left behind.
They chat all the time, sometimes including me in the conversation, but I don't really know what to say, so I curl up and sleep. Long drive. "Wales" says MBNAD after a while, then, "Powys", then "Home".
"Come on, Mossie, out you come". I am not sure I like what's going on.

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

Where does she go?

Two mornings now she has taken me out for a walk, we've had breakfast and then she changes her clothes. Into the kitchen, a load of cobblers about me being a good boy and that she has to go to work.
WORK? Doesn't have any sheep to deal with, so how can it be work.
Yesterday I tried a small bark but it didn't help. So today I didn't go into the kitchen. MBNAD woman then got my nice blue play ball and tossed it into the kitchen. Not bad for ten years old, if I say it myself. Into the kitchen, caught the ball and back out into the hall before she could get me into the kitchen. So it was all down to the Mrs Discipline Voice. I gave in.
Nice girl again to see me in the day and then MBNAD woman is back in those clothes that cannot be for work. She was a bit later today; something about train delays. I suspect that there might be someone else. I'll watch her carefully tomorrow.

Monday, 29 October 2007

New balls

Sunday

Took them both out for a walk today. There were these big cages with people in them playing with balls and bats. I woofed to see if I could play with them too.
The short one brought a present - a blue ball. I suppose that's supposed to be some kind of compensation.
Well, at least they know how to play the game. Had the short one running around quite a bit till she worked out what the rules were. Didn't the white dog teach them anything?
Had lots of big hugs with the small one. She seems to be packing a bag again. Is she being re-homed too?

Monday
I was right. The woman took me out for a walk and when we got back, the short one had a bag ready to leave and they went away in the car without me. Perhaps the woman exchanged me for her?
I liked her, but on reflection, if it's a choice of her or me, then she has to go.

This evening we went out for another walk past the same place as yesterday. There is a little house there and I went inside before the woman could stop me. There were lots of bright green balls and a kind person gave me one from a pile of old ones and said I could keep it.

So now I have a green ball and a blue ball. Almost like it used to be.

Saturday, 27 October 2007

Terra Nova

Friday 26th October
Waking up in my new home. Couldn't believe that it wasn't a dream. MBNAD woman makes breakfast for me and has stopped weeping. I feel it's only temporary. Despite her soggy tendencies, I think that she is worth cultivating. Extremely susceptible to the head on knee technique.
Out for the same walk as yesterday. Doesn't she know anywhere else to go? We get back to that bridge again and I veer off sharply right. MBNAD gets the message. That was HER walk not mine. We'll go my way round the pond, thank you.
More jacket potato. Limited walking and cooking repertoire.
Later, in the car. How far this time? Settling down for a sleep, we're there before I know it. I recognise this kind of place. Smells of frightened animals. I have only been a couple of times to these kind of places and the last time I lost the crown jewels. What can they be expecting to remove this time. I lie down, protecting what's left.
I might have to revise the view that she's not actually dangerous. Quite small really, but strong enough to pick me up and shove me through the door.
Two warders at the desk. No other dogs but 2 cats in cages.
"Mossie Miller" - a man beckons us towards a small room. He looks in my eyes, my ears, my mouth, prods my belly. Remarks on my recent sad loss. I sit down just in case there's anything worse in store. "C'mon old boy - let's pop you on the scales". Definitely revising the view now. I think that maybe I am being sized up for eating. 21kg. Is that with or without stuffing?
"Don't look so sad - come look me in the eye, you've no need to look submissive now". If you were going to be making a guest appearance on the table on Christmas Day, how cheerful would you look?
They have a really fascinating 5 minutes on fleas, worms and ticks.
Outside, back with the warders, MBNAD woman waits for something that will deal with all of the above. The warders all talk about the white dog but look at me in a kindly way.
More cats in cages and one very small puppy. They'll never get that big enough for Christmas.
Home for dinner - she says I deserve a treat for being a good boy.
At bedtime, she says "Night night Mossie, night night Bella" but doesn't cry, much.

Saturday 27th

Today she says she's going to try leaving me for a short time. I try to sleep but I don't know what a short time means. When she gets back, I'll try a little bark to remind her that I don't much like this being on my own.
Then it's in the car again and off we go to get another dog. Perhaps she wants a choice of eating.

Not a dog. A person.
Short, even shorter than MBNAD woman. But she smells of the house, the house smells of her. Long thick mane - she must take a lot of grooming. Well, it will keep the woman busy. This short person is very keen on hugging me. Warm and cuddly, though.
I teach her a trick. If she gives me a treat, I will hold out my paw. Quick learner.



Out for dinner - should I dress? The small one washes and the woman grooms her. And I am right: all that dark hair does take a lot of brushing.

Where we go for dinner there's a cat. It has very bad language.

Home (is this home? how long for?) and bedtime.

"Night night Mossie, night night Katherine, night night Bella". She doesn't cry tonight.

Friday, 26 October 2007

Mossie's big day



Thursday 25th October 2007
My day started really on Wednesday when I started my long journey from Ireland. I tried to tell Ann that I could stay and would be good and although she looked sad, she still sent me away. All the way from Galway to Rosslare (wherever they are... I only left the farm a few weeks ago). Loaded into a cage and into a van and then onto a ferry. . Nothing in the last 10 years had prepared me for this, but at least I wasn't seasick unlike some of the others. I felt I had to be really brave since I seemed to be the only grown up in the van. Some of them were really little - and they cried most of the time.
I have always been able to sleep in most places but the cage was uncomfortable. The man driving was nice, but had a lot to do with all the little ones.
Fishguard, Wales. Wherever that is. Off the ship, at least But we're still not there. I don't even know where there is. What there looks like. Who will be there. Will there be frightening. I don't even know why I'm being sent there. Hours and hours in the van, long and not very winding road. My nose itches.
Still dark, we turn off the road into a small clearing. P-I-C-N-I-C A-R-E-A. My cage is at the back of the van so I can see out a bit. I wish I knew what "picnic area" meant.
Donal, the man driving, opened the van and took out one of the little ones. Barking, in that frantic puppy way. Gone. Voices outside.
"Mossie's a lovely old boy, really nice"
"I'm sure he'll be smashing"
Smashing - what does she think I'm going to do? Run a Greek restaurant? Well, at least she sounds harmless. But you never can tell.
Door opening, cage opening. Lead on collar. Oh my goodness, I must get a grip on my syntax.
She doesn't look actively dangerous but the light isn't too good yet. Squinting up, I can only see a streak of dawn light.
"Gosh, aren't you a sweetheart". Who says "gosh"?
At least I managed a pee in the woods before another van. Except this isn't a van. It's one of those car things. The mad-but-not-actively-dangerous woman has a feeble attempt to shove me into the car thing. No back doors so I have to climb in. Vans are easier. I have been thinking so much about me in the last few minutes that I forgot the others. They were depending on me.
And now I am on my own. Caninely, speaking. She's been mumbling something but I have no idea what she means so I settle down for another long journey. My eyes are hardly closed when we stop again. We're here. Here? is that a bit like "there"? It's just dark. Maybe there is just dark.
"Come on Mossie" - a house thing. I am expected to go in. A house. Scents. Another dog. They complain when we smell but their houses are full of smells. Some I can't work out at all. Dog, cat, people, garlic. But there's only the woman here now.
A bowl: water. A bowl: food. I wait, just in case one of the big boys is around. MBNAD woman pushes the food towards me. Just check that no-one else wants it. Go for it Mossie. I can feel one of those gosh moments coming on too.
Tired now.
MBNAD woman says "Shall we go for a walk?" leaving me feeling like it's not really optional. I suppose I won't feel so stiff if I walk for a bit and I do need to go. She'll remember the poo bag next time.
Cars, vans, buses - and that's just to get to our walk. Woods with lots of strange scents. MBNAD woman likes this walk and she talks to me a lot. A pond , trees and a bridge. MBNAD woman is really sad here, ears back and nose down. She says "we call the bridge 'The Pooh Sticks Bridge' ". Whatever. We set off towards it. There on the bridge. White dog. Old. Waiting. Puffing, pink tongue lolling out. Just as if she had raced to get there first. She.



MBNAD woman can't see her. But she's doing that wet thing from her eyes and nose and there's no way I'm crossing that bridge with a snivelling woman. And the dog I could smell in the house is standing in the middle of the bridge. "Come on Mossie", says MBNAD woman. I feel she's going to say that a lot.
I crawl onto the bridge, belly to the ground. We've both got ears back and nose down now. She stops in the middle, next to the other dog who is giving me a hard stare by now. After a moment, we walk on, leaving the white dog still watching us. "Come on Mossie, she's not really there". MBNAD but really stupid.
Back to the house. So tired. At least she's not wet now.
Sleep for a bit. Floor is hard but I am so tired I could sleep on my nose, If it it didn't itch.
Waking suddenly, she's has gone. I look round and hear her. Above. How?
Looking up, I see her head and there is this path going up. "I'm only upstairs, Mossie". Only up what? I put my foot on the bottom steps of the path and she comes down baring her teeth but not in a biting way.
She sits at the bottom of the steps and puts her arms round me. Resting my head on her knee, I think that she might be ok. With training.
Another doze and I wake to her doing some food that I don't recognise. "Jacket potato, Mossie, my lunch not yours!". A voice, unbidden, urges me to try this strange food. I do the sitting neatly, paws together, pleading eyes. It works, it works! I try this potato - food of the angels. Remember this, says the white dog
After another sleep, I find that she has gone back upstairs. This time I follow and when I get to the top she tells me all about the upstairs rooms. Sleeping and washing, mainly.
Washing. Oh no. I am trying to blank out what came next. Yes, I smelt. It has taken me years to get like that. Distinctive. Powerful. Now I smell medicated. If the other boys used to beat me up before, they would have such a lot of fun with me now.
"I think that I need a cup of tea" says MBNAD woman. I watch carefully and she asks if I want one too. I have NO IDEA what she's on about but the jacket potato was a good experiment so I do that thing again that seems to work. So, there in the bowl is this light brown, milky liquid. Not a jacket potato, then. Tongue in, experimentally. Slightly warm, makes my tongue curl in a pleasant way. Tannic, says the voice.
Bed time, Mossie. Where now? A bed, all for me.
"Night, night Mossie, night, night, Bella" she says. But I know that the white dog isn't here tonight.